Adorn Yourself

Happy Life Day Y’all!

I posted on _OkayShe_ IG yesterday and at first, I thought that would be it. But, as He tends to do, God let me know I needed to go a little further than just a pic and a paragraph. So, the IG post is below ⇩

I get this life thing wrong EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Not because I want to. The flesh is the biggest barrier between living according to how God designed us. I adorn myself with constant reminders of the two most important elements I know – FAITH and LOVE. Both are rooted in my relationship with God and even though I get something wrong every day, FAITH and LOVE guide my heart, my mind and my spirit. The best I can figure is if I remember to have faith and show love no matter what I’m experiencing, I’ll at least be a little closer to right each day in whatever I get wrong. 🤷🏽‍♀️#ConstantGrowthAndImprovement #FaithAndLove #PressOn #OkayShe

Love – 1 John 4:19; Faith – Ephesians 2:8-9

(I had a pic to insert but it’s coming out way too big and I’m still fine tuning this blogger technical stuff so bear with me 😃)

You’d expect for Him to want me to dig deeper into the scriptures but to my surprise, the topic for discussion is ADORNMENT. 

In this technological age of social media, women are constantly bombarded with images of how we can present ourselves to the external world. And just as technology allows us to continuously expose ourselves to images and rhetoric that feeds on our insecurities, technology also allows us to have quick fixes for just about any and every external defect we perceive. You want a different hairstyle? Get a weave/wig! You want to change the contours of your face? Wear makeup! You want to have a curvier figure? Get plastic surgery! You want to feel 360 degrees of confidence now that your hair/makeup/figure is on point? Buy these clothes/shoes/purses/accessories! Do we ever stop and ask ourselves WHY? What part of ourselves benefits when we invest so much into our exterior presentation? Are we investing just as much (or more) into our inner selves?

Before I lose you and you think I’m speaking against physical enhancements, let me reassure you I AM NOT! I am a woman. I’ve struggled (and still do) with my own set of insecurities. For a good year, I contemplated getting breast implants (despite the affirmations from others that my 34As were just fine). I told myself “I want to get my breasts done so I WILL feel more confident, more like a woman. It’s not about ANYONE ELSE.” And I just about had myself convinced…right up to hitting the “confirm” button on scheduling a consultation. I can’t explain exactly why I changed my mind. I simply didn’t care enough anymore about having C cup breasts. I wondered about the true reason I wanted to enhance my appearance and after prayer and reflection, I realized at my core, I was struggling with feeling good enough. I was coming out of a toxic situation that had eaten at my self-esteem and the rejection I felt at not being “chosen” had seeped into my sub-conscious and convinced me if I got breast implants, I’d be 100% complete. Ergo, I’d not be rejected again. I was on one y’all…

After my close call with breast implants, I decided there was some serious reconstruction needed on the inner me. I mean I was ready to spend over $5,000 on a surgical procedure (with risks!) just so I could FEEL like next time, I wouldn’t be rejected. Again, I was on one…😞 I want to reiterate this is not judgment against any woman that chooses to enhance herself physically! I’m simply sharing my experience of not feeling good enough and how that lead me to seek physical adornments to counter my insecurities. Because even though I didn’t get breast implants, I did begin work on my physical self as I worked on my inner self. And as the inner work has progressed, the motivation and goal of the physical has evolved. I now exercise because it is a way I relieve the stressors of everyday life and has the added benefits of improving my inner and outer parts! I’ll admit to y’all that as I was contemplating breast implants, I also toyed with the idea of a butt lift too 😳 My exercise routine (which includes squats and weights) has yielded some results I’m quite pleased with! Oh, and I also do upper body weights so the muscle increase has actually improved the way my breasts look! This may be TMI but whatever, I said I’d go full disclosure in this blog and besides, I won’t speak on what I don’t know personally. The point is – when my focus shifted to understanding what was driving the pursuit/contemplation of my physical adornments, I made choices that improved my inner self first. The inner improvements automatically and positively affect the physical presentation! Any adornments I add physically are truly complements to what is being manifested from my internal reconstruction. And trust, I love a good adornment! Give me a sheath dress, classic cut heel, D&B purse, costume necklace and tube of mascara and you can’t tell me anything! BUT, take me out of those things…you still can’t tell me anything! Because those things are simply complements to the work GOD is doing inside me! Adornments are just that – things we put on to accompany what is already there. Adornments don’t define, change, improve or detract from who you are. Adornments won’t make someone like you less or more. Adornments won’t tell the story of who you really are. Adornments don’t make you; you make (and choose) the adornments. 

My only tattoo (for right now) is the infinity symbol with two words written in the loops of the infinity symbol – Faith and Love. I can never take this adornment off (okay, I could get it surgically removed but I won’t). It is inked on me forever. Just like Faith and Love are the elements at the core of my spirit and those things will be with me in Eternal Life with our Father. Faith and Love are what I was created to exude. His perfect, unconditional Love is the only reason I’m here and Faith in His perfect, unconditional Love guides me through each moment of my life. If there’s anything I want my physical to convey to the world around me is that I am a Faithful and Loving Woman of God. 

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